Leader Or Overlord?

What is the difference between a true leader and an oppressive overlord? We see examples of both types all over the world – in government, in business, even in homes and churches.
There seem to be two sides to the issue:
1) All of us need to be accountable. We need people who are mentors, supervisors or elders to tell us when our ideas are out of whack, when our behavior is unacceptable or when we are less than wise in our approach. If we are the president, we need a board to reign us in. If we are the pastor, we need a supervisor. If we are a husband or wife, we need older, wiser heads.
2) On the other hand, we definitely do not need people who are operating as control freaks in the name of God, who are authoritarian overlords. God's grace does not operate that way. If leaders do, then they are nothing but tinpot dictators. How do we deal with such individuals? It depends on the relationship. If they are a relative, perhaps we must bear with them and pray for change. If we work for them or are pastored by them, we may choose to discuss it with them, and if the same behaviors continue we can move on down the road. A fine line -- for God's grace is not the norm in our world, even within what we loosely call Christendom. By the way, manipulative legalism can operate the other way -- someone “under authority” announcing that God has told them to do such-and-such, a comment which is viewed as the ultimate safeguard against any negative comments regarding their subjectively-decided-upon course of action. This is manipulation and control as well.

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